DEAR MR LIFE PRESIDENT,
Apologies for the delay in responding to your 17th April Genfro shareholders’ letter, but it took me quite a while to disentangle your “crystallised journalist” reference. It was certainly a new one on me, and even after contacting a number of colleagues within our noble profession I was none the wiser. For they had not heard of such a specimen either!
However, after consulting this media outlet’s collection of rare and valuable dictionaries – assembled during a lifetime of writing articles about failed business ventures – I discovered the exact meaning of CRYSTALLISE: “to make or become definite and clear”.
So, unlike the abusive verbal insults you’ve hurled at me in the past – scant reward for my best journalistic efforts – this time you appear to have unwittingly paid me a back-handed compliment. Because any reporter worth his salt strives to make things definite and clear.
Nevertheless, I have to say it has been particularly demanding to achieve crystallisation during the Avocet fiasco with so much of the information concerning bust businesses locked safely away. Add to that failure to file accounts, and empty promises of investment from wealthy but unidentified sugar daddies and it is easy to see why my task has been so devilishly difficult.
As an independent observer who has not invested or lost a single penny in the long-running wonder fuel circus, it has been both fascinating and shocking to watch members of the legal profession including procurators fiscal, judges, well-respected insolvency practitioners and fine upstanding members of the Borders community being subjected to your slurs and accusations when there is no evidence that any of them have had a hand in shaping your current predicament. Meanwhile, whenever this aged scribbler tries to inform his small band of readers about the fast-moving drama, featuring the death rattle of the Avocet Empire, he too is swiftly consigned by you, Mr Life President, to the ‘Bad Buggers’ naughty step.
I see parallels between the Parable of the Fictional Get Rich Quick Wheeze and a much longer running saga which has occupied a good deal of my time since 2016 and which revels in the title Premier New Earth Recycling & Renewables (Infrastructure) PLC Fund. Just Google it for the complete story.
In both cases the business plans were allegedly based on ‘green’ technologies, designed to save the planet from environmental disaster. Gullible sections of the press and media swallowed both narratives, possibly persuading some to part with their cash. And in both cases, hundreds of creditors have been told by administrators or liquidators they will be unable to recoup their extensive financial losses.
In New Earth’s case over 3,000 souls will never see the £220 million invested in the now defunct Isle of Man-based fund. Simply put, New Earth management generated an even longer list of debts than Avocet Farms and Avocet Infinite combined.
It is worth noting that Scottish Borders Council fell victim to both catastrophic operations, wasting over £2 million in the case of New Earth and ending up out of pocket to the tune of £31,932 from its involvement with Avocet Farms. More fool them!
And while you, Mr Life President, seek to blame everyone for Avocet’s worthlessness except yourself, the New Earth fund directors claimed they were victims of a witch hunt after they extracted millions of pounds in management fees from what turned out to be a Ponzi operation.
But the similarities between these two notable business collapses do not even end there. In each instance a lax system of business regulation – in one case the Isle of Man Financial Services Authority, in the other the equivalent UK watchdog - allowed both operations to continue unchecked and run on well past their respective sell by dates. Although it must be said there was no Tim Carter on hand to bail out the Manx disaster with his squillions of US dollars. And the Israeli secret service showed no interest whatsoever in the offshore enticements of Premier New Earth.
Here’s hoping my response to your “newsletter” contains at least a smidgeon of crystallisation.
Yours sincerely,
Lapdog to the Bad Buggers
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